There was a time in my life when being alone in the house could make me so emotional, that I cry almost every night thinking that I have no one. There was a time in my life when losing someone, a very close friend or a family member, could make me feel abandoned, that I get hurt at the thought of being left behind and forgotten. There was a time in my life when loving people means being clingy, holding on to them so much that it chokes the life out of them.
Yes! I was dependent, clingy and insecure.
But that was the time when I didn’t know what love really means. That was the time when I haven’t encountered love yet.
And when I encountered Jesus, I encountered genuine love.
I understood that being alone doesn’t mean being lonely as well; that when somebody leaves, it doesn’t mean you’re unloved or forgotten; that loving people means giving them space.
I learned a lot of things (though most of them I learned the hard way). I learned to do things alone without feeling sad (in fact, I enjoy them a lot and would prefer to do it alone) such as walk in the street, eat at a restaurant, jog around the oval, go to the mall, etc. I learned to say goodbye without feeling afraid of being forgotten. I would miss people of course but I understood that some people don’t mean to stay. And I learned to love without demands. Just receive what people can give.
The bottomline is, I get to do all these stuff not because I am tough but because God designed me to be strong and independent. And that’s the kind of person I’m embracing, a person who enjoys the company of others but at the same time enjoy the solitary time with God.
And oh yes, I was actually NEVER alone. 😅
I’m with Jesus all the time 😉.