(Photo not mine)
I remember when I was 19 years old, I had a vision of myself standing in front of a wall made of red bricks, and holding a hammer on the right hand.
I carefully looked at the wall and noticed that parts of it were breaking, creating a hollow which allowed a glimpse of light to get through.
Perhaps, I broke those walls with the hammer on my hand.
I tried to peek through the hole but I couldn’t see what’s behind the wall. It was too bright. Then I said to myself that maybe if I totally break this wall, I’d find out.
I guess I was 22 years old when I had that vision again. But so much has changed in the picture. The hole was big enough for me to fit in and the light was so much brighter.
I tried to look carefully at the blinding light; part of me wants to step into the glow but there was the fear of the unknown.
What’s waiting out there for me?
Am I going to be okay?
What if I stumble and get hurt?
I need assurance. I need security.
Then I saw the nail-pierced hands reaching out to me and a voice called out my name, saying “You don’t have to be afraid. Let my perfect love cast all your fears.”
Pride. Fear. Pain. Insecurity.
These were my walls that hinder me from experiencing the complete love of the Father. Though I already had a glimpse of how His love is like and though I tried to break my walls to taste the fullness of that love, I always find myself rebuilding those walls again because I easily get overwhelmed with pride, pain, fear and insecurities.
However, God is so rich in love and mercy that even if I have given up along the way, He never did. He never stopped pursuing me.
It was His grace, that loving kindness, that compelled me to fight for love. His love.
I desperately wanted His love. I hunger for it. I thirst for it.
Now, nobody can break these walls other than me. Though I had the hammer in my hand, God knows I am weak and I cannot break it alone.
So, God tore down my walls.
When I pursue Him, He pursues me even more.
We all have our own struggles, walls and mountains that need a breakthrough. Oftentimes we thought that we are fighting alone; that we have to cross the river alone and that nobody can do this for us but ourselves. I guess we need to change our mindset. The truth is we are never alone. The fight that we are trying to win? Jesus has already won it thousands of years ago. He is our battering ram that destroys everything that stops us from going forward. Jesus is the barrier breaker. Therefore, we have the assurance, that every high thing can come down and every stronghold can be broken.
Try to stop Your love and You would wage a war
Try to take the very thing You gave Your life for
You would come running tear down every wall
All the while You’re shouting “My love you’re worth it all”
– Unstoppable Love, Kim Walker