* September 18 entry, late post >.<
I have always loved the camera but the feeling isn’t just mutual lol. So I always prefer to stay behind the scene, capture every moment, not missing a single thing. Being a documenter, photographer, videographer, tig-video, tig-picture … whatever you call it, is the second thing I love to do next to writing. It’s almost the same. It’s all about creating something to portray a thought or a feeling. It’s all about expression.
And this part right here, me in the camera, isn’t usual but not new either. But I shall be honest that I am feeling a bit agitated at the thought of being exposed to a crowd. I am not afraid of the stage or the camera or the microphone; I am not afraid of the medium. I am simply uncomfortable of the exposure. I always thought that publicity, or to be in the midst of the multitude is not for me yet it feels like I was born for it. I imagined myself preaching and teaching and get so excited and bold to actually do it. But sometimes I shirk at the idea because of some petty and stupid reasons like being afraid.
It was a desire that I denied a couple of times yet kept haunting my heart, meaning I can’t take it off me. I’m not giving up though. I’ll get there. It’ll happen. Things, I know, are taking their positions for a destined phenomenon. And when it happens, I’ll look back and laugh at this post