Dear You

I’ll never have the guts to tell you this because, for sure that if I did, you’d look at me with an arched eyebrow and perhaps walk away as if I never said anything sensible.
At first you surprised me with your tenderness, those sweet gestures you randomly do leaving me in the state of curiosity and doubts. I ask a lot of questions: What kind of a man are you who delights in taking care of women even those you don’t know so well? Why do you the stuff that you do? And why I feel such uncomfortability whenever you’re around?

Forgive me. I had been an immature, conscious and super rough kid. I pushed you away, ignored your attention and at last never appreciated you at all.

But it’s not like I never appreciated you. It just didn’t sink to me as immediate as it should have been. There were many times my heart melted at the thought that someone, even for short while, gave his attention and appreciation even if I never asked for it. 

You made me feel like I’m a natural woman.

I’m not actually sure what’s running in your mind right now. I don’t know if you’re as affected as me or perhaps you don’t care at all. 

You … You have the qualities of a man I was praying for (but not all of it). You’re a good man and I could tell that you’re fit for a good husband. I feel secure with you and I love being around you. It’s a loss, I could say, to let you slip.

However, I can’t base my decisions with my sentiments and completely ignore God’s will for you and me.

You have a call in the Lord and I have mine too. But I can’t picture out the two of us complementing each other’s calling. We are way too diversed.

You’re a good man but not the right person for me. It goes the same with you; I am not the right woman for you.


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