I woke up 7:00 in the morning, as always, forty-five minutes before the call time at work. I immediately went straight to the bathroom and stayed there for 20 minutes. But within those 20 minutes was the habit of either falling asleep or pondering about life. But today I thought about work. I thought about my manipulative, non-functional and inconsistent student with a special need. As I had my pondering moment, I could only sigh at the dilemma I’m facing everyday.
Then I whispered under my breath, “Father, I am at the end of my rope, deluged with my limitations and failures. I could only love this less, think with this limited domain, and do something with this definite strength. God I ask You to fill me with Your presence. With Your grace I can do more and love even more.”
Long story short, when I was on my way to work, I opened my Bible app and He led me to this verse.
But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 1 Peter 5:10
Whenever I reached the brink of being human, I can only do what’s worse but then the One who promises is faithful. He had given me the grace that is pefecting, establishing, strenghtening and settling me all this time.
Sometimes I take glory in my weakness because in Him I am made strong. I get to recognize my strong dependence for the Lord.
Every day I pray that I will not go beyond His umbrella or just walk without His presence, otherwise, I stumble myself.